2011 Occasional Posts

I know who you are

Rant Alert.  Totally Self-Indulgent, Finally Get This Off My Chest – Rant Alert.

How in the world is it okay to proposition my husband when you know he’s married and is blatantly monogamous.  I’m sick to death of the “oh she was drunk” excuse.  Being drunk simply and conveniently eliminates the common sense that stopped you from doing it in the first place.

Why did you do this?  This mystifies and enrages me at the same time.

I know couples who are into adding other people to their couplehood, but those folks are right up front about it AND there are rules.  Generally speaking, if a couple is interested in adding a 3rd party to their duo, it’s never a secret.  It’s understood between them and they tell each other.

Guess what, ‘ladies’?  It’s not a secret.  He tells me when he gets propositioned.  I know who you are and you owe me an apology.

This is not okay and I’m sick to death of seeing you in social situations over the years and pretending that nothing happened.  That you didn’t proposition my husband after he and I were married.

Beyond the sheer lack of respect for me and for Ron, what also galls me is your obvious lack of respect for yourself.  Are you so self loathing that you need to set yourself up for a guaranteed rejection like that?  Ron’s really good at letting women down gently, but it’s still a “No.”

It pisses me off that you make women look bad.  We have a hard enough time as it is.  Women are generally first categorized by our sex appeal and then by whether or not we’re already associated with powerful men.  If we’re lucky, we finally get past those two hurdles and are gauged by our skills.  When you use sex as an inappropriate connection, you make it that much harder for all of us to get past those first two steps. You justify the position of women to remain at the level of sexual evaluation first and foremost.

Knock it off.

Okay, I’ve ranted.  That was one extreme swing of the emotional pendulum.  The daily reality is that I don’t angst over this.  I do see you about and not seething with a repressed sense of injustice.  I understand that we all do stupid things.  For some reason, I finally needed to make this statement.  I finally needed to get that off my chest.  Who knows, maybe you were just waiting for an opening to say you’re sorry.  Well, don’t worry about it.  I’ve ranted.  I forgive you.

But don’t do it again.

Susan Scot Fry


6 thoughts on “I know who you are

  1. Susan I truly apologize for propositioning Ron, it was one time and yes I was drunk but in all fairness he was flirting too…I hope you can forgive me. If it will make you feel better the next time I drink I’ll call you and then Ron can rant as well. I love you guys!


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