October 15, 2010

I’m not a follower by nature, but sometimes I need to just lend a hand.

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There’s a mass of big picture and detail work that needs to be done.  Today is about being focused and purposeful.  There are 2 weeks before we’re in front of an audience, but those 2 weeks are jammed.

I’m going to lend a hand to Ron this am for a few minutes, though.  He rarely needs my help, so when I can do it, I will.  Over the past 10 or 11 years, I’ve come to depend on him.  Anyone who knows Ron can understand why.  He’s got that quality – that ability – that, well you know.  He’s easy to depend upon so whenever I get a chance to help him out, it’s strange and exciting.  It’s also a little odd now, too.

This period of scrounging from gig to gig to earn a living, has changed the nature of our relationship.  We’ve been witness to each others insecurities and have lived through it. It has also introduced much more balance in our give and take.  Sometimes that’s hard.

Working at the Faire when he was the Artistic Director and I was the Entertainment Director chafed.  I’m not a follower by nature but there was no truly functional need for me to do anything else but support.   I ended up with some big areas of responsibility, but they were tasks that I scrabbled for.  The result was that I was still needed for all the support – and ended up needing to use an assistant a great deal for that – and had wrangled a lot of tasks that took better advantage of my abilities.  It was quite a tug-of-war and constant flip-flopping of perspectives.

I’m so much better suited to running my own show.  I’m really crappy at maximizing the help that’s available, because my instinct is to go it alone.  But, it’s a learning process.

Like everything.

Significantly,

Susan Scot Fry

Update… It was a good day.  I pushed myself and did good things.  Feeling better about some stuff and way behind the eight ball with others.

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