Significant Stuff

September 25, 2010


It’s sweater weather.  Fat people like sweater weather because it looks like we’re already wearing a sweater anyway.  But then, so do people who wear those hip hugger jeans that create muffin tops around their middles.

We also like it for the same reasons everyone else does.  Sweaters are snuggly and who can’t use a great snuggle?  It’s also been so long since we’ve gotten to wear them that it’s like getting a whole new wardrobe without having to visit Goodwill.

We also like sweater weather because we sweat a lot more than most people.  It’s like we’re all menopausal women regardless of our age or gender.  Sweater weather helps regulate our body temps.  We can go walking and not have to bring along a change of clothes.  Hello nature!  Ah, the sweet, sweet air of freedom.

We like sweater weather because we’re allowed in the kitchen with impunity again.  It’s time to get out those crock pot recipes and start cooking and baking and making the house warm and spicy.  Hot weather has it’s food delights too, but cool weather is when we fat people flourish in the kitchen.  It’s our time.

Sweater weather means that blankets are back on the couch and who doesn’t look happy under a blanket on the couch?  Fat people do especially.  Sleeping together takes on a new dimension of cuddly because fat people give off lots of body heat.  Plus, we’re cushy.

Ah, it’s good to be fat in the fall.

Significantly,

Susan Scot Fry

Update… I forgot that every woman I know thinks that she’s fat.

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