July 19, 2010

Who are you people? It’s 6am and my Wordpress dashboard says 6 people have read this blog already today. I’m up so that I can post before heading to court. What are you doing up at this time? Oh, yeah! It’s Monday.

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Who are you people?  It’s 6am and my wordpress dashboard says 6 people have read this blog already today.

?

I’m up early (early for me, late for my school teacher friends) so that I can post before heading to court.  What are you doing up at this time? Oh, yeah!  It’s Monday.

I used to be obsessed with the idea of getting up early.  I thought, all good things will happen if I just get out of bed early enough.  As if the hours between 6 and 8 am would be the magic pill, the bear claw, the motivation.  I would exercise, meditate, etc.

Nah, not so much.  The getting out of bed early part, that is.

When I had a day job that required a lengthier commute than from my bedroom to the desk just outside my bedroom, I had to get up early and I timed it to the minute.  I knew exactly how long the shower, coffee, ironing, dressing and the drive from Los Angeles to Long Beach took.  Forget giving myself about an hour and a half.  It was 67 minutes.  I wanted those 2 1/2 snoozes and I got them.

I also used to desperately try to compartmentalize the time allotments in my life.  I’ve rarely been an hourly employee, but about a million years ago, I used to be a clock watcher.  This is not a pretty confession.  It’s not that I didn’t put in a single minute beyond the requirement, but I bought in to measuring how virtuous I was by how many more minutes I gave.  As if long hours equated to content.  I was a suit in corporate America and that visible dedication mattered to the people who were evaluating me.

Now, I work longer and more fluid hours than I ever have in my life.  I get at it at varied times and keep going until I force myself to stop.  I’m pursing my life’s work and it matters.  For the sake of effectiveness, I try to chunk time by focus, but even that remains fluid.  The first thing on my list every calendar day – and yes, it’s on my actual calendar – is this blog.

That’s what got me up 30 minutes before I “needed” to this morning.  The alarm was set for 6 am and at 5:30, I woke up thinking that 6 o’clock won’t give me enough time to post before leaving to drive to the Racine courthouse.

So, good morning.

I guess that makes this blog the magic.

Significantly,

Susan Scot Fry

Update…  Mea Culpa.  I woke up at around 1:30 am with those nagging thoughts swirling around that wouldn’t let me get back to sleep until I did what the voices told me to do.  Yeah, I know how creepy that sounds.  So, in the process, I booted up, logged on and discovered an email sent to me (and no, it wasn’t spam) about the same time I woke up.  From another human.  That I know.  Asking me an innocuous question.

So, I’m not the only one with a weird – read non 7 am to 11 pm – sort of life cycle.

1 thought on “July 19, 2010”

  1. I think that’s the difference. The perception of intensity in hours logged, and -actual- intensity when you believe in your work. Time has less meaning when the work has more.

    You have my thoughts and good wishes on your court date. Mine’s Friday.

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