June 18, 2010

Right here, right now there is no other place I want to be.

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I’m up.

I’ve had a shower.

I’ve had coffee.

Normally, the makings of a fine start to the day.  Except for the despair.  I’m fighting it today.  With every fiber of my being.  I will not give in.  I will not.  I am made of the sternest of stuff.  I have people like Jenni and Drew who will help me.  I am stronger than this.  My love is greater than the exhaustion.

This is the wall.  First marathon, someone standing at the side of the road handed me a banana.  If you’re a runner, you get it.

I will bust through and it won’t be alone.  The fear tells me, that it might be alone.  This is the test of faith in myself and the people around me.

No, nothing serious has happened.  I’m just physically depleted.

And, it just happened.  I alt-tabbed over to my mail and there’s an FB note from my niece just saying that she loves me and misses me.

First rule of marathons – the cumulative will kill you.  I don’t have 10 more miles to do.  I am taking one step right here, right now.

I don’t have to figure out how to get 200 chairs on the ground.  I have to get my hair out of my face right now.  It may help me later when I need to do stuff like put my mind toward chairs on the ground.

I don’t have to be afraid of the rain.  I have to put on good, sturdy boots right now.

Right here, right now there is no other place I want to be.

Significantly,

Susan Scot Sterner Stuff Fry

ps.  I just got a cheery call from our Equity Rep.  Hey, wow.  That happy voice was a boost.  There goes a wee bit more into the cup.  Will it be lots of little things?  Single steps?

Update…  And all is well.  We did it.  They did it.  My sterner stuff kicked in and was gloriously supported by great people.

4 thoughts on “June 18, 2010”

  1. I am so excited for you today! I wish I could be there to see the opening, but watching it from the outside, as it went from an idea, to a possibility, to happening, to now. The process of making your dreams come alive. You are such an inspiration to me.

    Tomorrow, there will be time for rest. Today, is the culmination of all the paths that led to you and your dream.

    *hugs* It’s going to be a good, good day. 🙂

  2. There are HUNDREDS of people out there supporting you, & are ready to show their gratitude and love in the form of helping hands, actors and a very excited audience!

    See what happens when you get an idea – an AMAZING reality!

    Congratulations to you and thank you for all you do!

    (oh yeah, I love you, too!)

  3. You’re my inspiration. Not for the big things, or the grand plans. For this. Now. Watching you at the end of the marathon. Going past fear and despair to make it happen. You proved to me it was possible. ‘If susan can do X, I can do Y’. And then you keep raising the bar higher and higher.

    The result: I believe I can do anything. Because you have made miracles.

    Tonight is magic. I believe this with all my heart. Tonight, the reality that got changed some years ago blossoms. Tonight you make starlight and miracles.

    And if you can do it…

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