It was all so unbearably sad. The Polish government is dead. Pedophile priests are getting away with the murder of children’s souls. The Milwaukee Public School system is churning out higher rates of illiteracy for African-Americans that anywhere in the US.
Okay, so that is actually unbearably sad.
But, I also wanted to cry when I read that home sales are up, that the stock market is up and that Pearls Before Swine did another pun-strip.
If I were playing poker, this would be my ‘tell’. I’m a bit of an emotional mess — oh, shut up! I’m not always a bit of an emotional mess!
Did I mention that I’m also a tad defensive when I’m coming down with something too?
It’s time to warn Ron and then hole up with a good book. Oh crap! I finished my book!
It’s time to warn Ron that he’s hosed today and that he might want to vacate. Preferably to the library where he will pick up the perfect book for me, come home, open the door just wide enough to chuck it and a pizza in and then run for the hills.
Hey, Ron. Save yourself. Take the dog. Leave the cat. Attitude like mine needs similar company.
Susan Scot Fry
Update… I was angry because I’ve chosen to focus more on Optimist Theatre than Caper Company. Admitting this is not the same as saying I resent Optimist Theatre or that it’s bad in any way shape or form. The world is not black and white and anger is an emotional reaction. It’s not reasoned thought. But, if it’s suppressed, it hangs around and does bad things.
I created Caper Company. It is an expression of things I believe are important. No-one else does anything quite like it. I love it and I love it’s possibilities. All that said, the best decision for me right now is to give Optimist Theatre the love, care and attention it needs and deserves.
I didn’t want to admit I was angry — which is a little odd because I don’t consider anger a failing. It’s just anger. It won’t kill me. It’s natural. It happens. And it will make me sick if I don’t admit it.
I do have a great passion for Optimist Theatre. Heck, the fact that it exists in it’s present form and direction is largely my responsibility — initially, anyway. A year and a half ago, I was looking around for What’s Next. OT became the answer. One thing led to another and now we’ve got great brains, talents and passions in Milwaukee supporting Shakespeare in the Park. In what way is that bad? None. Period. I know this.
Caper Company is a very personal expression of something that I’m discovering whether or not I can do well. Please understand how important that is, when I’m surrounded by overachievers in every other field. I find I don’t have time or the inclination for that kind of competition. I find myself not bothering to pursue theatre activities that I’d probably enjoy because, hey what ‘s the point? It’s already covered by people entirely more qualified than I am. And the other stuff’s got to get done too.
This sounds like an extreme whine-fest. I’m just trying to be honest and come clean. I’m not angry anymore.
So, I do what I’m good at. Which is highly stressful and somehow dull at the same time.
I believe in Shakespeare in the Park. And somehow, I’ve managed to re-create my job at the Renaissance Faire magnified to the nth degree.
What a surprise.
Perhaps What’s Next isn’t a repeat of what I’ve already done. But then, maybe it is.
I hope not.