January 14, 2010

mmmmm… cuddly, snuggly, DEATH!

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Fear.  It’s like a vicious, poison-tipped, razor-wire dog.  No, not a dog because then I feel sorry for it.  How about a vicious, poison-tipped, razor-wire pillow?  Yeah, that’s better because fear is great at disguising itself as comforting while it smothers you to death.  That’s it.  Fear is a Death-Pillow.

Soft and inviting though it may be, can fear paralyze me.  It keeps me from picking up the phone and talking to people about the Shakespeare in the Park fundraiser.  It delays me from mailing this letter to the Greater Milwaukee Foundation about their grant application.  It stops the flow and implementation of wonderful plans for Caper Company.

Pushing back gives fear more strength.

Vehemently denying fear, feeds it.

Embracing fear gives it power.

Ignoring it… closer, but doesn’t quite take the stuffing out of it.

Recognizing that I’m feeling fear and then realizing that it’s based on things that don’t exist (yesterday and tomorrow) radically helps diminish it’s power.  That breathing room is enough for a start.

Today, my Significant Thing is remaining conscious of the fear that is knocking on my door.

Here’s to exposing the Fear Death Pillow to the light.  Hang on, that would make it more of a mushroom… (thrives in musty, damp, darkness…)  Nah!  Because then I’d need to find a new picture.

Significantly,

Susan Scot Fry

Update…

ooooo… insidious…

Vigilance, awareness and a decent bag of tricks helps loads.  It has today.

I’ve struggled with fear my whole life and am in exceptional company.  Today’s experiences included a hefty dose of honesty and love and overall I did okay.  But, I needed to stay aware because fear is…

insidious.

1 thought on “January 14, 2010”

  1. I’ve nearly suffocated myself multiple times with the deathly fear pillow. Now I try my best to beat the stuffing out of the deathly fear pillow before it can suck the life out of me.

    Kudos to you for not letting the pillow win!

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